Charlie Productions : I Made An Oath.

And I'm bloody well sticking to it.

There is a good reason for this. Bad things happen if I don't. I once made an oath to never ever ever ever make a wedding video. Again. There was a good reason for this. A Ben-operating-a-camera-he-doesn't-know---in-the-wrong-colour-balance-with-the-time-and-date-being-printed-on-the-screen---the-wrong-time-and-date-are-being-printed-on-the-screen---leaving-muggins-to-struggle-to-change-this-over-a-summer-holiday-stuck-inside-in-the-primitive-and-slow-college-library-adobe-premier-editing-suite-and-failing-miserably-to-achieve-this-goal-resulting-in-a-disagreement-over-payment-ie-they-didn't-instead-they-were-already-having-separate-affairs-by-the-time-i-finished-the-bloody-thing-and-really-didn't-want-the-piece-of-shit-anyway-type reason. I'd even managed to carefully sidestep the issue for nearly a decade when best friends and family had gotten married and asked if I could provide such an item...

Until last year.

I was broke. Exceptionally broke. The sort of broke that phones up the bank to ask for a bigger high-interest loan so they can pay that month's loan repayment with said bank, whilst lying through their teeth about their income that year and they fact they don't have a job just a business card stating "writer/director" and a slate of "various projects in various stages of completion". Which is not a job.

So I took the money. Did the video, got someone who owned (and knew how to operate) their camera to second me on it. Had to bring in someone else to edit it I became so busy that summer with Hallo Panda. Promised them the large share of the money, didn't matter, just get it done. It had all gone swimmingly and it was nearly finished by Christmas. And for some reason the groom wanted to meet me in a service station carpark to hand me the first half of the money. In cash. I don't know why. But I cycled over there, having bought Christmas presents for my Nan on the way, and took a thousand pounds from him in twenty pound notes, carefully tucking this large wodge of cash into a zip-up pocket before I cycled on home.

All the way there I could feel the large wodge of cash bulging in my trouser pocket. When I got home I had a shower, dropping my trousers to the floor the wodge of cash made a pleasing thump inside the zip-up pocket as it hit the carpet. And when I came downstairs I fished into my pocket to put the money somewhere safe and pulled it out and somehow there was just a single, crumpled, twenty pound note in my fist.

Obviously I had already put the money somewhere safe. I'd been thinking of that place whilst having the shower, obviously I had been remembering where I had put it rather than thinking of where to put it.

It was not there.

I went a bit mad, tore up my room. The money was still not in my room, not in my zip-up trouser pocket. Dad helped me look all over the house. Then we walked the couple of miles to and from the service station to our house. There was no sign of it. It was the day before Christmas Eve and I had managed to lose a thousand pounds on the way home. Well, nine hundred and eighty pounds, anyway.

It had been a very hard year. I had been working my arse off for most of it on Hallo Panda and not earnt any money from that, meaning I'd had to work doubly hard trying to earn money wherever I could. Such as wedding videos. The constant pressure and incessant 18-20 hour days had eventually told on me and I was more than worn out. And now I now didn't have the money to pay the other cameraman, let alone the editor.

I had just paid to make a wedding video. Again.

But I think that was the best grand I ever spent. Ok, lost. As me and my Dad walked back along the darkened road I couldn't help but picture the inhabitants of Potters Bar running along in wonderment behind me as I cycled along, my zip-up pocket not actually zipped-up, with twenty pound notes fluttering in the wind behind me. I'd made their Christmas, whoever they were. And it was only money. My Dad and I laughed a lot on the way home, and I had the best Christmas I'd ever had.

But that doesn't mean I haven't learnt my lesson. An oath is an oath. So I'm keeping this one. And if anyone has any interesting ways of tying long hair up or recommendations as to turbans, I'm all ears.

Charlie Productions believe passionately in doing things and always trying to stop in time for tea.
Brook House Design Studios, Bluebridge Road, Brookmans Park, Herts AL9 7SX
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